Last week was all about nature vs. news. It was turning off the news and taking a ‘holiday’ from some of your technology. I found this exercise refreshing. It has the same benefits that you get from a ‘good nights sleep’. I certainly didn’t miss social media or my phone or computer. I actually felt liberated by spending more time with my family and more time outside in nature. My walks in the afternoon saw me becoming more aware of my surroundings and I certainly appreciated the beautiful weather we are experiencing at the moment. This will also become a personal habit for me. Each week, I am going to actively ‘turn off’ from my phone/computer/TV and visit the great outdoors more.
This week is expanding on experiment six which was all about how your thoughts and consciousness impact matter. We are going to delve further into the power that your thoughts and words have over your life.
‘But it’s only a word.” That is the sentence that a lot of people use to excuse their self-talk or their vocabulary towards others. It couldn’t be further from the truth. Whilst it is a ‘word’ it also concocts images and hence feelings every time you utter a sentence. We all know that a word with feeling behind it, has the ability to align our focus and if our focus is aligned, we invite it into our lives. That which you focus on expands.
Each and every person can have a look at their life right here and now and prophesize what their future will hold. No exceptions. Everyone has this ability. How? Your thoughts and words are gathering momentum as we speak and your focus is creating your next moment and your next moment and so on and so on. My biggest thrill is when people say “I don’t believe that at all. I certainly don’t have the ability to create my future. It just is what it is.” I often get them to tell me how their life is right now. They will make comments like, “I’m struggling to pay my bills.” Or “I’m not well, I’ve just been diagnosed with a dis-ease.” Or “I just can’t seem to attract the right person into my life.” Isn’t it exciting that you’ve created that with previous thoughts. Where you are right now is a direct correlation to what your thoughts and words have been previously. That is what got you to where you are now. What you need to do is evaluate how you are talking and what feeling you are injecting into each word.
Here are some examples of self-sabotage:-
- If I eat this piece of cake, it will go straight to my hips
- I’m so forgetful, I think I’d forget my head if it wasn’t screwed on.
- I’m stupid. I just can’t wrap my head around it.
- Partners always leave me. I guess there’s something wrong with me.
They feel like innocent remarks, however, saying these often enough makes them as powerful as truth serum. We are our biggest critics. There is no one on this earth that is more capable of truly emotionally hurting us other than ourselves.
Why don’t we try and change this? Why don’t we become our biggest cheerleaders, our own biggest advocates?
If you think about it, would you stay on the line to someone who was telling you how awful you are? Would keep sitting across from a person in a café who was telling you how ugly you look today? Would you listen to someone who told you how idiotic you were and how you only have half a brain? No, you wouldn’t. However, this is what you do every day when you talk to yourself. If you wouldn’t accept these comments from family, friends or strangers, why would you accept it from yourself?
It is also the same as smelling the manure that someone has just placed on their garden and commenting on how much you can’t stand the smell. Then you go down, pick up the manure, put it in a spray bottle with some water and begin spraying it inside your home. You don’t keep doing things you don’t like, you don’t keep watching shows you can’t stand, and you don’t keep eating something that makes you gag, so why on earth would you keep affirming things that make you feel worthless, sad and upset?
It goes against our very nature, yet we have become experts at it. We need to affirm ourselves in the positive, we need to tell the story of our lives how we want it to be, we need to find the good in all situations, people and things.
Instead of the defamatory comments that were used earlier, how about turning them around into pure, positive affirmations.
- I love this cake and its permeating my cells with all its goodness
- I have a fantastic memory. I remember everything that I deem important.
- I’m very intelligent and very talented.
- I am a beacon of love. I am open and receptive to unlimited blessings.
Feels better, doesn’t it?
The best way to start overcoming this self-sabotage talk is to start mirror work. Louise L. Hay has been teaching people for decades how important the mirror is to real self-love. Try it. Go and stand in front of the mirror. Look deep into your own eyes and tell yourself something positive about yourself. Do you find it easy or do you find it near impossible? Does it flow or are you resisting?
“Mirrors reflect back to us our feelings about ourselves. They show us clearly the areas to be changed if we want to have a joyous, fulfilling life.” Louise L. Hay
We also have the uncanny ability to talk ourselves into or out of something. Do you remember as a child being terrified of the rollercoaster but convincing yourself how brave you were and actually getting onto it? Do you remember the time when you were a teenager and had a crush on the popular kid at school and then convinced yourself you weren’t good enough to ask him/her out? What about the time someone told you, that something wasn’t possible but you talked yourself into the fact that it was and proved that person wrong? What about the time you convinced yourself you weren’t such a good choice for the job and how you told yourself how stupid you were and guess what, you didn’t get the job?
We manipulate ourselves constantly. Positively and negatively. Imagine if we deliberately focused every day on only speaking highly of ourselves. In believing in ourselves. Can you imagine how your life would change?
Here is the next experiment directly from Pam Grout’s E-Cubed.
“Here are the five steps
- Acknowledge that what you’re noticing in your life now is only temporary unless you continue to cement it in day after day with your words.
- For the next three days, for the time it takes to conduct this experiment, refrain from complaining. As Bob Marley used to say, a complaint is an invitation to the devil.
- Say out loud: “Thank you for this fabulous day. I love __________________ and I love ________________.” You can fill in the blanks with darned near anything, because love emits a special frequency that can pierce the darkest of situations.
- Last, you’re going to pick a statement that you’ve been repeating for years: “My back’s been hurting,” or “I’m not good on first dates.” Pick something your friends would recognise immediately, a familiar statement from your regular repertoire. Now, play the opposite game. Tell a completely different story for the next three days. Milk it for all you’re worth. Act like you’re Meryl Streep.
- Look for evidence during the next 72 hours of this opposite reality.”
Lab Report Sheet
The Corollary: The “If You Say So” Corollary.
The Theory: The words that spill from my mouth have a certain wattage and energy, and by using only words and phrases that bless and uplift, I will empower myself and others.
The Question: Is it possible to positively affect my life by changing my conversations?
The Hypothesis: By actively monitoring my words, I will notice a change in what shows up in my life.
Time Required: 72 hours
The Approach: For the next 72 hours, I’m going to refrain from rushing to react in speech until I’ve thought about each comment I make, ensuring that it passes the Quality Control requirements I’ve set up for myself. If during these three days I am successful in issuing no complaints, no wisecracks, or unkind words about myself or others, I will feel a higher energy and notice a better-feeling vibration emanating from me.
End of Experiment.
“The one person I am with forever is Me. My relationship with myself is eternal. I relate with love to all of life.” – Louise L. Hay