Anxiety! We all have differing degrees of it at some time or another in our lives. The trick is to not let yourself stay in it too long.
My anxiety usually rises if I have to visit the dentist. My palms become sweaty, my heart starts racing and I will have to run to the toilet every five minutes before my actual appointment. Awful, but I still go every year to have a check-up.
There were moments growing up as well, where ‘things happened’ and I felt anxious. Everyone has moments of contrast in their life where they feel a negative emotion.
My anxiety has always been brief and minimal…until recently.
We live on a small block and there is nowhere for my gorgeous golden retriever to run, so every day, twice a day, she gets a long walk around the neighbourhood with a stop in the local dog park, so she can run off leash.
If you read the previous blog post, you would know how much of a miracle this is!!!
During the last five years of doing this, she has been attacked three times whilst out and about from other dogs on the loose (with no owners). Luckily enough, she never sustained any life threatening injuries but my anxiety would start to rise as I took her out to walk. I wasn’t anxious about me, I was anxious about her being hurt. However, the reason behind the anxiety isn’t relevant. Anxiety is anxiety.
I understood completely, that my anxiety was acting like a beacon for the same scenario to happen. It was another example of the Law of Attraction at work. Are you anxious? Okay, let’s give you more to feel anxious about. Oh, you don’t want any other scenarios to feel anxious about? Okay, so DON’T FEEL ANXIOUS!!!
I knew I had to find a way to curb my anxiety. So I started carrying items that I thought would help Bella during an attack (notice that I was still sending out the anxiety vibe). It started off with carrying a stick, then a Citronella spray and then to an Air Horn (the noise will break up a fight….I hope!!) My family thought I was ludicrous but I knew that as I added each item, my anxiety became less and I started to feel in control of my emotions again.
I understood that softening my anxiety and turning my focus onto feeling calm, safe and happy was the best way to prevent another attack as I would no longer be a vibrational match to my beautiful Bella being hurt.
I also know that I’d never have to use these devices and that they were just acting like a ‘security blanket’ to a young child. They were comforting and helped me feel calmer and back to the ‘normal me’. I’ve never experienced anxiety like this and I knew that I never wanted to feel it again.
I also started saying affirmations before my walks. “We are safe. We are happy and full of joy. Life is wonderful. I love walking on such a beautiful day. I appreciate the fact that we are able to walk” etc. This put me into the right frame of mind. I would also imagine Abraham going on a rampage of appreciation and helping me merge into that better feeling thought.
This is the biggest lesson. What works for one, doesn’t always work for all. Someone may find meditation works best, another may find stomping their feet on the ground and twirling around works best. Whatever works for you!!! Whatever helps you into that calm, allowing, happy place. There is no right or wrong answer.
I had a client confide in me the other day about a scenario that was making her feel depressed and guilty. The reason why she felt guilty is because she believed the reason for feeling depressed wasn’t as bad as someone else’s’ reason for feeling depressed. Her scenario wasn’t as bad as someone else’s scenario and so she was ‘berating herself over it’. This is what I told her.
One person’s emotion is not bigger or better than another’s. The reason behind the negative emotion is not worse for that person and hence less for this person. These judgements can only be made when you are comparing your life to someone else’s and the only life you are living is your own. We are the only people in our lives that understand where on the emotional gauge we are, we are the only ones that can gauge how important or inconsequential that experience was or is. It is only how we think, how we feel and what we believe that is important. Don’t even give anyone else’s emotional gauge or scenario a thought as you will never understand what or why they are feeling the way they are. Just concentrate on you. Focus on the good in your life. Find something to laugh about.
Speaking of laughing….the other day I stumbled across a video that made me laugh out loud. It was such a ‘feel good’ video that I shared it via social media. It was Ben Aaron’s discovery of ‘Dance Walking’. It looked like so much fun that now, when I walk Bella, if I find my anxiety starting to rise, I simply start dance walking. It takes my focus off the anxiety and actually still makes me laugh out loud (even if it looks ridiculous to other walkers…..kind of makes me laugh even harder). Bella thinks it is great and will bounce beside me thinking it is a game!!!
Laughing feels so good because not only is it focusing on joy but it is releasing the body’s natural ‘feel good’ endorphins.
This was the best lesson for me on how to move up that emotional gauge when you feel that you just can’t find a better feeling thought because some emotion has taken over. Now whenever I feel anxious, upset, down or angry I find something straight away to make me laugh. It is impossible to stay in any of those emotions whilst you are laughing (or dance walking!).
We are all human and throughout our lives will experience moments of contrast. The real improvement is how we look at it and how we find a way to move through the experience or emotion.
So my advice for others who are experiencing moments of anxiety or any of the other negative emotions is to…LAUGH!!!
As always have fun and immerse yourself in joy!!